would anyone miss you, if you were gone …

JVD
Jost Van Dyke, British Virgin Islands

Not the most cheerful subject line, I know, but hear me out.

Some days the question “would anyone miss me, if I were gone” passes through my mind. I’m 38, single, handsome, keep myself in pretty good health, and own/operate a business that gets me by. I travel the world in my free time, my eyes seem to leave a lasting impression on everyone I meet, and I’m as chill as they come. Yet, that nagging question persists.

I look around and watch my small world slowly fade away. Jobs, marriage, kids, age all erasing memories of once was. The single world is a tough one to navigate as you get older. Friends replacing nights out catching up, with early morning family activities. Debates over beer and wings, turned into debates on whether to watch Netflix or decide on what monotonous routine to take care of the next day. I get things change as we get older, I certainly can’t hang like I used too and we need to consistently grow and evolve, but what I wasn’t prepared for was the loneliness that sets in at times.

As you continue the self healing process, you learn you’re never truly alone. You always have yourself and are being guided by a higher presence. Unfortunately, plans will get broken, messages get ignored, people will flake, and you’ll feel like one of those empty plastic bags gently floating in the wind. You wonder if anyone sees or hears you. You start to doubt and think, “maybe I’m destined to be alone.” Those closest will ultimately be there at the worst of times, but why does it have to wait for a breakup, a divorce, or a death to bring it all back around? Did life simply get in the way, or did we simply get in the way of life?

I don’t have kids, I don’t know what it’s like to have this little human being encompassing my entire world. I’m not invested in a spouse or a special other right now either. However I have graciously taken a step back to try and see life through the eyes of those who do. So while you’re home cuddling in bed watching a movie, some of us are home cuddling a cup of tea, reading a book waiting for you to pick up the phone and say “let’s catch up.” While you’re frantically jumping from soccer match, to dance recital to fixing a pipe, some of us frantically wonder if anyone remembers us. We’re not needy, we’re not desperate, in fact 9 out of 10 days we’re quite content on being alone. But it’s that 10th day, we wish to see a familiar face. Sure we could pick up the phone and initiate contact, and we have, but we’re tired of being treated secondary. We’re tired of chasing! Maybe I’m missing the point to all of this though. Could this be a sign that it’s time for a new start? New friends, new sights, new sounds, new smells. Has my time spent in this bubble come to an end? Am I destined for something elsewhere? Would anyone really miss me, if I were gone? Would they miss you?

Some connections are destined to fade away over time, but I’d like to think that everyone would miss even the smallest parts of you. There will come a time when a few of these people will find themselves in the very spot you find yourself in now and they’ll remember you. They’ll seek a shoulder to cry on, an ear to talk to and you’ll be the first to lend it, because you’ll remember how it felt. We’re all linked by our wounds, we’re all linked by our joys, we’re all linked by our love.

Remember, you’re being built for something greater. You don’t see it now, but in time you will. We have to believe, I have to believe!

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