i tried fitting in …

i tried fitting in
and drank to hide my fears
lied when i was hurting
to dry those shameful tears
i tried fitting in
by blocking out the pain
when all it did was leave me cold
alone and in the rain
i tried fitting in
by never giving a fuck
but really where’d that get me
turns out i was just a smuck
i tried fitting in
to a world that seems to swipe
from right to left and left to right
but i just don’t get the hype
i tried fitting in
by always being on my phone
but something i just figured out
it’d making me feel all alone
in tried fitting in
by working a normal job
but it’s the closest thing to death i’ve felt
before my heart was stripped of its throb
i tried fitting in
when i was lost with out a way
but i kept on circling back
to a life i didn’t want to replay
i tried fitting in
by always playing it cool
when all it did was tear me up
while feeling like the fool
i tried fitting in
by asking you on a date
silly me to think you’d show
looks like i’ll have to wait
i tried fitting in
and believed your words would heal
when all they were, were lies spit out
to deny us of whats real
i tried fitting in
by eating from your plate
laced with chems and pesticides
i think i’ll choose my fate
i tried fitting in
by staring at a screen
but all it did was numb me out
and make me feel unseen
i tried fitting in
by playing in your game
but once again it left me out
feeling guilty and ashamed
i tried fitting in
by not responding to your text
but seems to be the jokes on me
you’re not even slightly perplexed
i tried fitting in
believing you were a friend
but somewhere it broke down i wondered
was it a beginning or just another end
i tried fitting in
following your values and your ways
but all it did was drive me mad
and darken many days
i’m sorry i don’t fit in
to this puppeteer stringed world
where souls are being strangled out
and hearts are beating cold …

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